Groups Have a Common Identity but Not Shared Expectations
Have you ever joined a group—maybe a club, workplace team, or community organization—and thought, “We’re all in this together,” only to find out later that everyone had a different idea of what “this” actually was? If so, you’re not alone. It turns out that while many groups share a common identity, they often don’t share the same expectations. And that can lead to confusion, frustration, and even conflict.
Let’s break this down and explore how people come together under a shared banner, yet often walk in different directions.
What Does It Mean to Have a Common Identity?
Picture a group of people wearing the same team jersey. Maybe it’s a soccer club or a volunteer organization. From the outside, they look unified—they share colors, logos, perhaps even chants or slogans. This is what we mean by a common identity: a shared sense of belonging, purpose, or belief that brings people together.
Common identity is powerful. It creates a bond, gives people a sense of pride, and offers a tribe to call their own. In workplaces, it might be the company mission. In communities, it could be a shared cultural heritage or neighborhood name. People love to feel like they belong.
But here’s the tricky part: just because people identify with the same group doesn’t mean they agree on how that group should behave, achieve its goals, or treat its members.
Shared Expectations Are a Different Story
Expectations are like the unspoken rules of how things should work inside a group. It’s the “how we get things done” or “what it means to be part of this team.” And unlike identity, which can be wide and vague, expectations are specific and detailed.
For example, in a workplace, the common identity might be “We’re a team of innovators.” But what does that actually mean? One person might expect open collaboration, while another thinks innovation means working independently on bold ideas. Without shared expectations, both people may feel blindsided or even frustrated by how the other behaves.
In other words, groups have a common identity but not shared expectations, and that disconnect can lead to trouble.
Why the Disconnect Happens
Human beings are incredibly diverse—even within the same group. Our life experiences, values, and personal goals shape how we interpret shared identities. Let’s say a local environmental club has the identity of “protect the planet.” One member might expect that means participating in climate marches. Another might believe the group’s role is to educate schools. A third might think hands-on cleanup efforts are the way to go.
In their minds, they’re all part of the same cause. But in practice, expectations diverge, and that divergence can cause friction.
Here are some reasons this disconnect happens:
- Lack of clear communication: If expectations aren’t talked about openly, people fill in the blanks themselves.
- Different levels of commitment: Some members are all in, while others are casual participants.
- Diverse backgrounds and experiences: What feels respectful or effective to one person may not be to another.
- Varying goals within the same identity: One person sees success as influence, another sees it as impact, and a third wants community.
Real-Life Example: The Remote Work Team
Let’s take a modern example. Many companies have gone remote, building virtual teams that span time zones. The team may share an identity like, “We support each other and deliver high-quality work.” Sounds great, right?
But here’s how that identity can play out differently in expectations:
- One team member expects daily check-ins on Zoom.
- Another believes that as long as deadlines are met, there’s no need for daily interaction.
- A third thinks feedback should be spontaneous over chat, not formal in meetings.
Unless those expectations are openly discussed, that team’s shared identity won’t be enough to keep things running smoothly.
How It Affects Group Dynamics
When a group has a strong identity but conflicting expectations, it often leads to confusion, tension, or even burnout. Let’s use a common analogy: it’s like being in a band where everyone’s playing a different song, but they all think they’re part of the same concert.
The risk? People may start questioning their place in the group or feel like others “just don’t get it.” Over time, high-performing members might leave, and the group could splinter into smaller factions.
This scenario highlights why recognizing that groups have a common identity but not shared expectations is essential for long-term success—especially in organizations, social movements, and even families.
How to Bridge the Gap Between Identity and Expectations
So, how can a team, club, or group keep their shared identity strong while also aligning on expectations? Here are a few practical steps:
- Start with a conversation: Ask members what the group’s identity means to them and what they expect from each other.
- Make expectations visible: Write them down and revisit them as the group evolves.
- Encourage feedback: When people feel safe sharing concerns, clearer expectations naturally emerge.
- Check in regularly: Has the group shifted focus? Are expectations still aligned?
Think of it like tuning a guitar. You may have the same instrument (your group identity), but if each string (each member’s expectations) is off, the music won’t sound right. Regular tuning—or open dialogue—keeps everyone in harmony.
Where This Shows Up the Most
You might be wondering—where does this difference between identity and expectation cause the most problems? The answer: just about everywhere.
Some examples include:
- Volunteer organizations: Some people expect leadership roles, while others just want to show up and help occasionally.
- Political movements: Members may agree on big goals but disagree on strategy or tone.
- Religious groups: Shared beliefs might exist, but interpretations and rituals vary widely.
- Online communities: A shared interest doesn’t mean shared ideas on what discussions are appropriate or respectful.
If you’re involved in any of those areas, it’s worth taking time to ask: “Do we all understand what’s expected of us?” If not, it might be time for a group reset.
By the way, if you’re interested in group psychology and how teams function more effectively, check out our post on why self-awareness makes better leaders. It’s a great resource for understanding how individuals can positively influence group dynamics.
What Happens When Expectations Do Align?
Now let’s flip the script. What happens when a group not only shares an identity but also agrees on expectations?
Magic, that’s what.
Here’s what that looks like:
- Smoother collaboration: People know their roles and how to support one another.
- Greater trust: Members feel seen, heard, and respected.
- Stronger outcomes: When everyone is pulling in the same direction, goals are reached faster.
- Increased satisfaction: Members enjoy being part of something that “just works.”
In essence, shared expectations are the blueprint that helps turn a group dream into reality. It’s the difference between chaos and synergy.
Why This Matters Right Now
In today’s world, collaboration is everywhere. We’re part of more groups—both online and offline—than ever before. From social movements to virtual workspaces, there’s a growing need to not just belong but to be aligned.
The statement groups have a common identity but not shared expectations might sound simple, but it holds deep implications. If we ignore it, we risk misunderstandings, disengagement, and missed opportunities. But if we embrace it—and talk about what we expect from ourselves and others—we can build stronger, more effective communities.
Final Thoughts
Belonging to a group can be one of the most rewarding human experiences. It gives us identity, purpose, and the joy of being part of something bigger. But identity alone isn’t enough. For groups to thrive, expectations need to be out in the open, agreed upon, and revisited often.
So next time you join or lead a group, remember: groups have a common identity but not shared expectations. And that’s okay—as long as you’re willing to talk about it.
Here’s a quick takeaway you can remember:
- Common identity brings us together.
- Shared expectations keep us together.
Are you part of a group where identity and expectations don’t quite match up? Start the conversation today—you might be surprised how much better things can get with a little clarity.